Another Dragged out Day or the Narcissist?

I am not sure what to title this blog? Another dragged out day because each day is a repeat of the prior, accusations, living a nightmare, reproach, pain, anger, forgiveness and redemption. One does not know how to react to these things, the great thing about being an adult, is that as my friend has told me. This is not my first rodeo, different song and dance and the only thing that has changed is the dance partner. Time to Dosie doe, ok that could totally be a slaughter of the dance term and I apologize for the attempt at humor without googling the right way to write it. However, I find that if I think about what I am going to write and edit it, the raw emotion that drives from my mind to my fingers is thinned and does not flow the same. My mind is a constant spark of creation and thought, and this situation has truly given me more philosophy. In the end Relationships SUCK! lol ok no they do not. I recall my grandparents, my grandfather was a doting husband and made all of us feel special. He was affectionate and sweet, he gave his all to his true love, even if she did leave him at th altar a few times.. ooops! He loved her with all his heart, until his dying breath. This was my ideal of love, and so it carried over into my life, always wanting to find this type of love. So far strike three, I really should call it quits. He stays and does not leave because here he is comfortable, waiting out the delayed pain. He and I are were a few days ago still lovers, he cheated on the girl he now supposedly loves, he tellls her all the same things that he told me, dedicates the same songs. Who does that? ahhhhhhhhh hence the Nacissist, from his mouth now, I do not care about you, I do not care about her, I care about me!!!!!!  If that is not narcissism then what is. Stop crying he says, I try to explain I am an emotional person but in the end, I knew it was over. Two people of our types can not carry on